on second thoughts...

its already 1 in the morn and I'm still very much wide awake..there are many things that's on my mind..my s-pass, my situation and darn,just everything..

tama ba na mahalin kita?mahal kita, mahal mo ko,sobra sobra nga e..we are even a perfect couple if everyone will look at us..but its complicated.. you are married and does have a kid..i was in the same situation before..nakakapagod..umpisa pa lang mali na..paano ba magiging tama ang isang mali?..

you're marriage is a mess..you filed for annulment of it. you're wife cheated on you, a countless times..and you're fed up. i came to the picture. we are happy. but it didnt last long. your insane wife messaged me on fb saying she is trying to fix her family..i retorted back..the next thing i know i messed your life..


now im having second thoughts..saan ko b ilalagay sarili ko? tama bang kalabanin ko ang asawa mo?sya ang legal db?sa mata ng Diyos at ng batas..may anak pa kayo..anong laban ko dun?oo,tama ka,ako ang nanalo dahil nagwawala sya ngayon. hindi nya matanggap na totoo lahat ng sinabi ko s kanya.  may mali ba sa sinabi ko?


i dont want to destroy a family. but if i came to the picture wherein its already destroyed, then i guess i have the right to fight for the man i love. but is it ok?where do i stand?what if  im the only one fighting for this?what if im just one of his women?ang sakit sakit na kasi...i know nahihirapan na rin sya..what if i suddenly give up on us?yun na lang ba lagi role ko sa buhay?ang umayos ng buhay ng iba?ang makiagaw ng pagmamayari ng iba?kabit lang nman ako kaya ano ang karapatan ko?ako ang mahal..wala akong sinira dahil dati nang sira ang pagsasama nila..pero gaano ko kakilala ang lalaking nilalaban ko?kaya ko ba talaga?baka masayang lahat ang mga efforts ko...


gusto ko na ng lalaking para sa akin lang..ang walang kaagaw..akala ko kaya ko umintindi kasi mahal ko pero bakit ngayon gusto kong umurong...nasasaktan na ako sobra..ang sakit sakit na naman..ilang beses na kasi ito..di na ako natuto...


Lord tulungan nyo nman po ako...patnubayan nyo po ko...